Wonders of a new beginnnings

I glance outside and the gray skies make me want to hide in my bed all day and watch the world pass by. This area of land is desolate and bland, the colors remaining gray and the winter touches down cold. I am tired of being tired. Winter blues have been attacking me for too long. "Is there a day," I wonder, "in which the sun will shine and the this white mess will melt?"

Lonely thoughts come with this dreary weather. I look forward to baby sitting tonight; the kids are always in an upbeat mood. I don't know what it is with me lately, but misery is my middle name. I guess it may be because we are having to move back to Des Moines and leaving our horses behind in Winterset. It may be because my medication is too strong and causing the opposite of its purpose. Who knows! I want to be happy and myself; I hate the feeling of depression.

I have a lot of things to be joyous about, though. My dog, the loving and wonderful animal that seems to never acquire enough love from me. My Beamer, he is the horse of my life (like "love of my life" ;) Corny...I know. I used to be distant from my sister, but it has come to be known there is no Rachel without Anna or Anna without Rachel. We are two peas in a pod and happy to be that way! God love us...

Something WEIRD happened last night! I recognized this guy in an AA meeting last week and I asked him if he knew any idea how I would know him and he didn't have a clue. So, last night we were at a meeting together again and after the meeting I asked him what his tattoo on his arm said. It was crazy! He responded with, "Oh, It's a poem I wrote." AND DEJAVU! Here I was, 14, sitting on my friend Nick's floor...drinking jack and coke. Half tipsy, I asked Nick's cousin Marcus what his tattoo said and he responded, "Oh, it's a poem I wrote." CLICK! Here we were, 2 years prior drinking together, and now sitting in AA meetings together. What a gracious and miraculous God we have.

Back to last night, though. During the meeting the second step reading was: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The guy reading then went on and read about sanity and what not. While listening to him I picked the dictionary off the table and looked up the definition of "sane." In Webster's, sane is defined as: Mentally healthy; free from mental disorder.
Is this not wild?! Another translation defines sane as the ability to make normal decisions. "What is normal?" is the first question that comes to mind. And no where in the definition does it mention a power greater than yourself to keep you sane and "normal." Just a slight observation. See, the drugs/alcohol are so small in the parts of AA. AA is about learning to live your life with a God in which you understand and in a community of people that love and accept you just where you are. Mental illnesses are found throughout the world; not just in the alcoholics anonymous program.


THINK ABOUT IT.