Beamer, my love.

He is my faithful steed; one who contains strength in his stride and power in his soul. Beamer, my love and my friend is to me as a child is to a parent. From day one there has been no doubt in my mind the unconditional love that captured my soul and bound us together. I waited years to find such an incredible and undying love and bond with a horse. Little to my knowledge, he was out there...it just took a little searching to find.

We ride miles upon miles together. All around the country we travel, hand and hoof not more than a few feet apart. I guide him and he listens willingly. Between my Beamer and I, it was love at first sight.

SO...to the point! I don't mean to get all mushy gushy on you. I mean COME ON NOW! :) Anyways, this morning I woke to a deathly scream from my sister. I immediately jump out of bed, run upstairs, and look outside the kitchen window to see my horse laying on the ground , hooves up, and tangled in some sort of wire. This seemed peculiar to me, being that only a tiny piece of our fencing is wire. I then throw my boots on and run outside. Since I could not see too well from the house, I ran as fast as I possibly could with snow and ice underneath me to then encounter the love of my life hurt and destitute. My heart immediately dropped.

My sister had beat me down to him, but as soon as I got to him I got down on my knees and threw my arms, as best as I could, around him. When I heard the heavy and deep breath of my 'child' struggling, the tears started rolling. My first thought was, "How do I get him out of this! We don't even have wire cutters." Immediately I jumped up and ran to my car to then run to the neighbor's house who might possibly have the tools needed to cut my baby loose. Sure enough they did and soon we were on our way back to release him from his misery.

My neighbor, Mike walked me back to Beamer with the tools in hand that we needed to get him loose. He told me to put my knee between his neck and head and pull his head towards me by his halter. I was quick to get in position, as I wanted him to be relieved. We then got him loose and he stood up. He was shaking from lying on the cold ground for God only knows how long. He was probably in a little bit of shock, also. Mean while, the vet and my mom had already been called and were on their way to tend to the situation.

I could see his front left leg was beaten up. The hair had been torn off, but I could tell he did not act foolish and struggle much. If he had, he may have ended up with a broken leg or an even more serious injury to the tendon. My baby is smart! :) After we got him up I walked him around the barn to stretch his legs and get the blood flowing back through his body to warm him up. He was a little shocked, but for the most part did an excellent job recovering quickly and understanding the need to stay calm (which is hard for most Arabian horses!)

The vet showed about thirty minutes later and was grateful not to see a horse with a broken leg or anything worse than was. He gave me some antibiotics and bute to help Beamer recover without any infections or other problems. I was so thankful at this point. What a trooper Beamer is!

Of course, being the mommy I am I worried about him throughout the entire day. I worried if he was warm and if he was okay alone in his stall while the other horses were outside. I wondered how long this injury would take to heal...blah blah blah. When I got home tonight, the FIRST thing I did was go down to the barn to check on him. He looked as though he was resting peacefully, but I got him out anyways. I fed him an apple and brushed him off a little bit. Beamer loves nothing more than all the TLC he can get! I watched his eyes lighten as I loved on him; being as though all the pain was relieved. What a sweet boy I have!

I now look forward to watching Beamer heal and conquer something that could have been SO bad. He is very strong willed and we will get through this. It will take a lot of love and care on my part, which I am MORE than willing to give after all he has given me. I reflect back on my day and I know I would never know good if it were not for the bad. "Wait for the day," I tell myself, "in which you can get back on your faithful steed's back and ride fifty miles once again and remember what a tough cookie he is." I know my Beamer will carry me through hell and high water. Everything about the inside and outside of my horse is good for the inside of me!

Thank God for today.

A house I have lived in; a home I have never come to know.
It is temporary and short-lived.

Good night world, I have no other words tonight.

Wonders of a new beginnnings

I glance outside and the gray skies make me want to hide in my bed all day and watch the world pass by. This area of land is desolate and bland, the colors remaining gray and the winter touches down cold. I am tired of being tired. Winter blues have been attacking me for too long. "Is there a day," I wonder, "in which the sun will shine and the this white mess will melt?"

Lonely thoughts come with this dreary weather. I look forward to baby sitting tonight; the kids are always in an upbeat mood. I don't know what it is with me lately, but misery is my middle name. I guess it may be because we are having to move back to Des Moines and leaving our horses behind in Winterset. It may be because my medication is too strong and causing the opposite of its purpose. Who knows! I want to be happy and myself; I hate the feeling of depression.

I have a lot of things to be joyous about, though. My dog, the loving and wonderful animal that seems to never acquire enough love from me. My Beamer, he is the horse of my life (like "love of my life" ;) Corny...I know. I used to be distant from my sister, but it has come to be known there is no Rachel without Anna or Anna without Rachel. We are two peas in a pod and happy to be that way! God love us...

Something WEIRD happened last night! I recognized this guy in an AA meeting last week and I asked him if he knew any idea how I would know him and he didn't have a clue. So, last night we were at a meeting together again and after the meeting I asked him what his tattoo on his arm said. It was crazy! He responded with, "Oh, It's a poem I wrote." AND DEJAVU! Here I was, 14, sitting on my friend Nick's floor...drinking jack and coke. Half tipsy, I asked Nick's cousin Marcus what his tattoo said and he responded, "Oh, it's a poem I wrote." CLICK! Here we were, 2 years prior drinking together, and now sitting in AA meetings together. What a gracious and miraculous God we have.

Back to last night, though. During the meeting the second step reading was: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. The guy reading then went on and read about sanity and what not. While listening to him I picked the dictionary off the table and looked up the definition of "sane." In Webster's, sane is defined as: Mentally healthy; free from mental disorder.
Is this not wild?! Another translation defines sane as the ability to make normal decisions. "What is normal?" is the first question that comes to mind. And no where in the definition does it mention a power greater than yourself to keep you sane and "normal." Just a slight observation. See, the drugs/alcohol are so small in the parts of AA. AA is about learning to live your life with a God in which you understand and in a community of people that love and accept you just where you are. Mental illnesses are found throughout the world; not just in the alcoholics anonymous program.


THINK ABOUT IT.

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